


Pink Skies with a Cup of Silence

by emitokki



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Don't Examine This Too Closely, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Sad Lim Changkyun | I.M, aka the sad shit, but hoseok loves him despite that, but you could if you want to, changkyun thinks too much, he really does, i made this while listening to that good shit, not that he's a major part, wonho is asleep for 3/4 of this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 11:11:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15363339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emitokki/pseuds/emitokki
Summary: It's beautiful to see the world outside his window in such a vulnerable yet peaceful state.And it feels like everything will be fine. Feels as if the dread wasn't building up in his gut and nearly making him retch.





	Pink Skies with a Cup of Silence

**Author's Note:**

> IMPORTANT NOTE:  
> i am in no way saying that cheating on someone is an okay thing to do. it's not. it's such a shameful and low thing to do and it sucks a lot if you're on the receiving end. don't cheat on ur partner, it only ends up hurting the both of you in the end.

It was once again a quiet morning in Changkyun's apartment. In which silence feels dominant over the hum of the starting day and vulnerable morning. The birds outside have yet to awaken and chirp loudly to cranky passerbys on the streets; loud vehicles have yet to have their engines turned on to emit copious smoke; people have yet to start their day, all were asleep with even breaths on their mattresses with dreams playing inside their heads.

Changkyun prefers this over the hustle and bustle of mornings, noons, afternoons, and evenings when people are working, eliciting an irritated expression across Changkyun's features. He prefers it this way, when the wind doesn't pick up nor does it rise, causing a serene, undisturbed atmosphere. 

It's beautiful to see the world outside his window in such a vulnerable yet peaceful state.

And it feels like everything will be fine. Feels as if the dread wasn't building up in his gut and nearly making him retch. 

Hoseok lies across him, asleep, his lashes ever so slightly shift when Changkyun exhales in an attempt to keep calm. His cheeks look soft, his strong and masculine features were given emphasis by the dim light coming from the window behind Changkyun, and that only makes everything feel more intense, more genuine, more...

_Real_ , Changkyun thinks. 

He wants to smile, he really does. But the familiar strain on the sides of his face remain nothing more than a reminder of what he did. What he's doing.

He knows that even as time passes, the seconds ticking down till Hoseok's alarm will still remain ignored and forgotten by Changkyun. He doesn't want to end the peace, doesn't want to stop thinking, doesn't want to stop suffocating in his thoughts because those make him stay conscious and aware of what he chose to do.

And as the ring on Hoseok's finger glints due to the light continuing to grow from outside, Changkyun tries to hold down a grimace.

Suddenly, he's reminded of how the skies were bare, a fading pink sky behind the blue peeking through the white clouds. So was he. Bare, and just trying to hold the weight of his decisions on his aching shoulders.

His relationship with Hoseok was nothing more than a cheating husband's affair. 

He knew that, so did his conscience and the hickeys that remain planted onto his skin. Nothing more than a reminder that Changkyun was so close to just breaking apart.

Because he _knows_ what he's doing is wrong. He _knows_ how many people he could hurt from accepting this exchange. Ranging from family, close friends, to strangers. And it hurts him, deep inside it hurts.

Every night when the familiar sound of the doorbell reverberates through his apartment, Changkyun smiles, because he knows who's waiting for him behind the wooden door. He knows that once again, he'll be wrapped in a tight hug with a kiss and a flurry of words laced with affection.

He knows this, and nothing is more painful that the fact that he _knows_.

Changkyun wants to say that it's okay. He wants to say that it's fine and that he accepts being involved in an affair with an unfaithful spouse. Except he doesn't, because he knows he's the antagonist of the story. He's the villain; he's the wrong one. That's something he has yet to say out loud, so he keeps his mouth closed and thoughts in disarray.

Ignorance is what keeps him steady, at least. Not Hoseok and his overfamiliar affections, nor is it the love that doesn't suffocate him, but overwhelms him. It's ignorance of the fact that's blatantly placed in front of him, asleep, quiet and just... Beautiful in almost every way Changkyun can think of.

He loves him, and maybe that's what's making the whole thing worse for him.

Hoseok's eyes gently open, and Changkyun looks back at him, and tries not to let his thoughts express themselves on his face. 

He's awake now, after all. The last thing Changkyun wants is for Hoseok to be aware of what he's thinking.

Hoseok smiles at him, and this time, Changkyun smiles back despite the strain he feels on his cheeks. He loves him, and Hoseok knows that.

Hoseok loves him too, Changkyun knows that, but in times when the sky isn't bright and the streets start to run empty as people walk home to rest, is when he doubts him.

"Have you been watching me sleep the entire time you were awake?" Hoseok queries, almost with a soft chuckle. His voice is hoarse and low from the night before, but the question doesn't fly over Changkyun's head. It was the first thing to be said in his quiet morning, after all. "I'd make a Twilight joke, but it's far too early for that."

Changkyun tries to laugh, but he ends up unintentionally coughing instead. Hoseok hums. 

"I can't believe you'd compare me to a creepy vampire that prefers high school over adventure."

"You were the one staring, Kyun," comes the reply from in front of him. "Not exactly an attractive thing to do."

Changkyun's free right hand moves from Hoseok's chest and up towards his cheek. A habit that no longer feels awkward for it creates a calming atmosphere that Changkyun wishes to wake up in every morning.

Silence ensues for a few beats. The sound of them breathing was the only thing to be heard for a while. Changkyun wonders if Hoseok went back to sleep, but when he looks at him, he has his eyes closed, but his chest heaves in an uneven pattern that suggests that he's awake.

So Changkyun decides to open his mouth.

"But you love me despite the fact that I'm not the best, right?"

And when Changkyun makes eye contact with Hoseok, he knows that Hoseok knows what he's thinking. Maybe that's what makes warmth bloom so early in his chest, but Changkyun doesn't want to assume. He doesn't want to flatter himself, except it's blatantly obvious that Hoseok knows what he's thinking.

Changkyun is supposed to be afraid, but surprisingly, he isn't.

Hoseok leans in to kiss him on the lips, a soft and sweet peck on the mouth that ends up being longer than what was probably initially intended. But he doesnt mind, and Changkyun doesn't stop him.

When he pulls away, the familiar tingle doesn't leave and it makes him smile a genuine smile that makes his dimples pop up.

"I do. I love you." Hoseok holds his hands, keeping them in between his bigger palms as he speaks. It makes Changkyun feel secure and warm all over. "You might not be the best person to exist, but you make me happier than anything and anyone else, Kyun. I love you, and I always will, I always will."

The repetition of the last sentence made Changkyun's stomach churn. But he doesn't say anything else, nor does he try to think of anything else, because he's afraid of hurting himself with his thoughts alone.

An unanswered question remains at the tip of Changkyun's tongue, but he ignores it.

So despite the serene morning, in which he wakes, blooming earlier than the rest and thoughts falling faster than rain, Changkyun's arm moves to rest across Hoseok's chest. It's a subtle yet selfish act that shows his lack of care for a most probably sleeping wife, alone on Hoseok's mattress.

Guilt and dread fill him up. And it hurts, but the vulnerable morning and Hoseok make it all a bit more bearable.

**Author's Note:**

> hello hello ♡♡ how are you all? i hope you're doing well :) 
> 
> this is my first work here on ao3 so i hope i didnt disappoint you guys ♡ please expect me to post some more in my free time as my exams are FINALLY over and i can contribute something more to the Wonkyun tag
> 
> let's be friends? my user in tumblr is [emitokki](http://emitokki.tumblr.com) (i have yet to revive my twitter acc, i promised smone that ill resurrect it from the dead but it has yet to actually happen, hAHAHA)


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